Tea on my porch in the early morning, where the light of Fall is trying to engage the heated stillness of Summer. I love vanilla flavored tea. My favorite is the wedding vanilla from the tea store at the mall. Just the smell will send my imagination soaring. It’s time for our birds to eat and drink the fresh water my husband pours for their bath time! I share time with an old friend and a new guest, I hope to get to know.
My old friend, I’ve had experiences with off and on for years. . .retreats, prayer time, heartfelt offerings. We’ve engaged with active service. We can talk about a summer study. We can share laughter over shared memories. We can see a tear coming in each other’s eyes, a mile away. We meet eye to eye with the honor of her presence. Our heart space is intimate. We share history in our Lord. Thank you, Father for the familiar that nudges us forward into “see, I am doing a new thing.” (Isaiah 43:19)
My new friend, is one hard to make eye contact with because she is such a uniquely different blessing in my life. I sense her depth, yet I cannot engage her in active service. I don’t know how to build a relationship with her. The quiet offering of her life calls courage to engage her with my “new kind of normal” life (Thank you Carol Kent for your wonderful book!). Yet, I hesitate because I want to honor her too. . .And the heart space called for here has no boundaries. It is building a life of it’s own.
The two other chairs at my porch table are empty. Before you think I’ve lost my mind, this was all God’s idea. He is trying to help me integrate two friends: “humility of old” and “humility of new.” You see, I thought I knew humility through service. I was comfortable with my “foot space” at our Lord’s throne. This new friend in humility bumps love upward and outward. It offers from a life source that is not stirred by my hand. Accepting from His hand with HIS warmth still lingering in the offering, closes down my words and opens new love letters in my heart. Words, I did not even know were there.
This new friend, humility of new, is very busy behind the scenes stirring up life with love letters addressed as: friends, family, home cooked meals, legacy investments, text messages, the incredible response to Team Tracey (October ALS Walk), tearful prayers, cards, hugs, support from school and church families in a wealth of ways, offers to help drive me or the kids, warm water therapy, venues in healing prayer, generous gifts of video sessions professionally done, out of town events held to honor ALS research, “take this to Mrs.Tracey,” books on heaven, cds, and eyes that recognize the real me, still. And the depth this new humility offers. . .I cannot begin to fathom. . .And I don’t know how to draw gratitude beyond what I know. . .But the humility invites another guest at our tea time table. . .gratitude that grasps for words.
The only way I know to honor the life giving love offered from so many of you, is to find a way to embrace this humility of new to honor each and every effort you make in our regard. Our Jesus, is the very essence of humility. Each of you have introduced me into a new aspect of His Heart of Humility. “God, can you magnify these words to express our tea time to others? Take it beyond words in YOUR HONOR? Amen”
Postured small at the foot of His throne, with a heart of rich humility and giant gratitude. . Our Lord works wonders in faithfulness of His Body in Christ. Thank you! Thank you.!! Thank you!!!
“Humility is the perfect quietness of the heart.” Andrew Murray in His beautiful book on humility.
In God’s love and mine, twe