Too Many Words. . .Part I. . .

Ironic, but deeply fitting that with over 160 posts, today we are going to talk about one of my greatest failings. In elementary school I got Cs in conduct. I even remember a C- Ugh! I talked tooooo much! On a trip home, just from a city errand, my mother offered to pay me a dime to keep quiet. Never saw that dime. My cousins lovingly teased me about always talking. I was known in high school and college for always having one more question to ask (but there was always more to know. . .inquiring minds right?) And then came relationships, and I just know I talked much more than I ever listened. When the other person was talking, I was not listening, I was planning what I was going to, profoundly, say next when my friend took a breath. God forgive me :0 . . . ..wtyhdukwolkacsxurbnmqouslttpxzz. . ..talk, talk, talk.

Then I got married, and I had more to say than ever. I knew a better way of doing everything.  I thought I would save my sweet husband the effort, and just “tell him how to do ‘it’ right.” Well, more like everything right. Oh well. I did not hold my tongue and took advantage of my woman’s 20,000 words per day and talk twice as fast. That alone qualifies me?! Ha! I could dance a jig around Bucky with his, “slower,” 7,000 words per day. (Receiving scientific review now!)  Oh, the opportunities I missed to encourage! It just seemed the right thing to say. . .Wrong. If only someone had told me to hold my tongue and let him figure it out, but no one did, and I was too young and foolish, perhaps to have listened, anyway. Oh boy. The truth is men learn faster and receive a true sense of respect if their wives keep their mouths shut and let them work it out with trial and error to discover God’s best. They figure it out. Their way be may different, but is different wrong? (I thought so!) Surely with Bucky if I said it a several different ways, several different times, and at several different loudness levels, he would “get it,” right? Wrong. Who gave me “supervisor status of parking, parenting, and passions? Friend’s learn better, if we refrain from giving advice, listen, ask them what God is doing, and through trial and error, they find God’s best. And now let’s get to our children. I so wanted God’s best to keep my girl’s safe, the first two daughters received long lectures. I’d lost them after the first three minutes. . .but surely more was better, right? Wrong. As a parent, you are far better off, asking them what they think and why. . .responding with a thoughtful, “Thank you for sharing. Let me think about that.” Later, come back with some well-thought out SHORT points, on God’s Best and what that might look like. I totally ignored the concept of 2 ears to listen, one mouth to speak.

As God began to break through, I applied it to friendships first. Definitely, missed first priority. But it is not as it appears. Because my marriage, my mothering carried more weight, more significance it also carried more fear of failure and so that remained well-guarded territory. . .Until I allowed God to be a wife, a mother and a sister. It was not up to me to cover all the “territories.” And just where did I get the idea I could???!

When we can go into relationships expecting mistakes and misunderstandings, in brings grace into the equation. Who here, wants to operate in relationships without grace. 😦 Mistakes and misunderstandings are both opportunities for growth. They are rarely life threatening. You see, now that my speech is becoming more cumbersome to articulate and to be understood, I’m finding, I really don’t have that much to say. I see and experience all the places I would have directed or re-directed or mis-directed and I just observe. Imagine that the people around me are actually surviving and in some cases thriving? I laugh silently at the words that remain in my head, unshared and no one has ignored me yet!  I grieve for the major misuse of the privilege of the spoken word. 😦

So,

Proverbs  18:22 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Proverbs 15:4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but ONLY such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

The loss of speech is teaching me profound lessons on the “spoken word.” That includes, what is written. If a word does not speak love, insight or encouragement, God’s Best for me is to sit back and watch what He does. More often than not, my prayers, but not my lovely insights are what is called into play. So here is my “huge” word speaking platform. My “Boogie Board.” (I confess, I already wrote the company and told them, this just would not do, I need a BIG Boogie Board! Seriously, I did! They did answer me with they are considering it! LOL) In the meanwhile, God is teaching me to “conserve” my words in another’s Godly Best Interests.

Boogie Board/Communication Palate

P.S. Look how many words, I used in this post, to write about limiting my words. :O

It’s an on going work in God. . .Be patient with me!

16 thoughts on “Too Many Words. . .Part I. . .

  1. Good news! You are not the biggest talker out there! The first time I met our friend, Connie, she said to me “Man, can you ever talk!” Never were truer words spoken. Alan, bless his heart, said “Oh Connie, you have just met your match” You and I have had some wonderful, inspiring, fun and heartfelt conversations over the years. I have a picture of us on your swing at your old house and we are both deep in conversation. I never felt you didn’t listen. I cherish those times. Keep talking! I’m listening, and I’m sure I have something to say too : o )

  2. Dear Tracey, Again, how timely are your words and wisdom…again I marvel at the similarity of our experiences in this journey through life. Often in my passion and zeal, I forget with the printed word(s), that the other person cannot see my compassion or heart or concern over whatever is being discussed or addressed and have to go back and say, “Oh, that is not how I meant that!” (Oh, the blessing and curse of technology presented through various social media and networking for the purpose of ‘reconnecting’!) As a precious friend articulated yesterday in class, “I had to go back and say, ‘I’m sorry…I should not have said what I did, the way I did.’ When she was told it was okay, she responded, ‘No, it isn’t…I am a Christian, and that is not how I should have responded.’ The situation brought an opportunity to humble myself and perhaps God was glorified.” Okay, that dealt with the written word…now to the spoken word(s)…reading your words, Tracey, I am reminded of so many of my words throughout so many years that did not/do not reflect the character of Christ…when did I become so impatient? was I really that unkind? sound that unloving? ummm, yes, and I repent in dust and ashes…that’s okay, though, dust and ashes may be the new “must-have” accessory for this “under construction”, being rearranged, re-emerging prayer closet of mine. Thank you again for your wise words…precious words that cause us to pause, listen, evaluate, repent when necessary, and continue to trust that He will accomplish what concerns our lives. For the believer, regardless of our physical limitations, we advance in this walk and journey on our knees. Much love and many prayers, new, sweet friend!

    • Dear Boydrea, yes what a learning curve “words” present in releasing life-giving goodness of our Lord. I find so much of it is a response and not a reaction. Much love and prayers to you too, sweet friend in Christ! love, twe

  3. I agree! What a very timely word. My heart is to stop and listen with both ears…double hearing…to hear what is really being said by the person and to hear what the Holy Spirit is saying, but sometimes my words start flowing before I know it. Like the previous post, it is a ongoing process in my life. Thankful for grace, marguerite

    • Oh Tracey, if only I could learn this lesson!! I believe I’ve failed every test our Father has given me in this! Poor Holly, Elise and Katie! Pray for me to hold my words and listen, and then respond in love and not what I’m feeling at the moment!

      • Hi Lisa, Thank you for responding so honestly. I’m praying right now. . .Lord, help us receive the weight of “our words” against the “weight of Your Glory” when you speak life through us. We can be changed under Your Reign with the the honor to speak encouragement and grace. Amen

    • HI Leigh Ann, Good to hear from you. Enjoying Streams in the Desert. Thank you! Appreciate you reading 🙂 Words have no meaning until they are picked up. . .We journey together 🙂 twe

  4. Dear Elaine, how hard the Truth is to play out. Just today, I blundered with too many words (via text) than were needed. . .but I was hurt and deserved to justify my feelings, right? Wrong again. Oh, well, back to the Truth for me. . .love, twe

  5. Like the above comment, I surely can identify with what you shared. Yes, it seems as though by wanting my children and John to do it my way was to save them time and relaxation. Wrong. Thanks for sharing such an incredible part of your life. My worst thought was I never thought I was the one in control. HA

  6. Boy, can I identify with what you wrote. I was always the social one. I never met a stranger and in the words of my grandfather, ” I could talk the horns off of a billy goat.” I am struggling with speech and I see it on everyone’s face as they either ask me to repeat or just smile like they understand what I said when they really didn’t. One thing I have learned is that there’s a reason God gave me two ears and only one mouth . . . I should listen more than talk. In the silence God is loud. I hear Him much more clearly. 🙂

    • Hey Clydette, always good to hear from you. I definitely know the polite voice on the other end of the phone and the polite face. Who blames them, not me. I’m a speech pathologist and I don’t think I could understand me out of context. Yes, listening is far better.love, twe

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