Afraid of the Dark?

Here, we go again. Another vulnerable post,”God are you sure about this one?” It’s not easy putting myself out there on the internet. We’ve got viewers in India today.” Okay, it’s in Your Hands. . .

There is darkness to our days. And that same darkness follows us into night and can make nighttime hard to bear. We struggle in darkness, we are not made for it. That is what makes it so painful. I’ve been afraid of the dark every since my dad died when I was seven years old. After my mom died, when I was a young adult, the fear came back with greater intensity. I was a late night owl all my young adult years until a couple of years ago, and I think much of that was a “feed” from, let me be so exhausted, that I will not lie awake in the darkness waiting for sleep to come. I flowed straight into sleep in the midst of my prayers. No waiting time in the dark. The struggle with this illness, has brought on more darkness aversion. I resent each and every time a light is turned off. It makes me feel angry inside. My thought life goes something like this: “Really, do we have to? It’s not time yet. I’m not ready, yet. . .etc.” I even put lights on timers, so I have some control of the amount of light at night. We are having a conversation, and God wants it to be safe, so I’m just being honest. Perhaps, a little too honest, but it is what it is and we cope the best we can, right?

It is however, not as it seems. It’s not the darkness that has the predominant role to play. It is the intense call to the light that is what is growing with voracious hunger in me and if you have issues with the darkness, it is growing inside you too. . .

for you were formally darkness, but no you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light Ephesians 5:8

The people walking in the darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16

And I quote Ann Voskamp. . .

“Sun’s rising after Resurrection Sunday on a Monday world where everything’s changed. . .

Easter Monday faith believes that in impossible darks – impossible light sparks.

Easter Monday faith believes that the tombs places of our life – are but womb places for new life.

Easter Monday faith believes that Christ tenderly takes our doubts – and says touch my scars. . .

This faith believes in stones that roll, in grave clothes that fall, in an Easter people who sing hard hallelujahs. . .because we be believe in resurrections always coming.”

End Quote

 Please visit Ann’s Blogsite. . .you will be blessed:        www.holyexperince.com

The “impossible light sparks” when the scarves for Easter slip through the mail on Saturday. The “impossible light sparks” from the darkness of the disease in marriage enrichments beyond my dreams. The “impossible light sparks” from the darkness of weakness is the growing competency of my children. The “impossible light sparks” each time a lamp is turned off and my computer screen grows brighter in a Blog that leaves a legacy and a book that toys in my head and heart. The “impossible light sparks” when a young boy with the gift of autism reaches out to hold my hand on Easter Sunday and as I look into his profile,  I see, we share the same secret. The “impossible light sparks” when the read God had me place in a young women’s hands is just what she needed to open her spirit for Him. The “impossible light sparks” when a prayer of great love breaks through my protective wall and dissolves my passion for life into tears, spoken through my brother-in-law, John. The “impossible life sparks” when something I write on my Boogie Board breaks out laughter in my sister-in-law, Lisa. The “impossible life sparks” when I swim my heart out in the pool, pray, God use your living water with me as it is intended to give life to every cell that struggles. The “impossible light sparks” from the darkness of loss into intentional legacy of love and liberty, I work and pray with a hard press each and every day for my family and friends. What “feels” like a death-like tomb, are “womb places for new life.” Time and space brings plans, workings and lovings that I was “too busy” with life to slow and settle for fruition. It’s not about what I feel, it’s about the light that rises every day after Resurrection Sunday. What else can we say, but Amen

I’ll close with a question. . .Are there “impossible light sparks” from your darkness? What/When and Whom are they?

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