I rarely, “feel” like doing anything social. I want to be “old girl.” I want to hug tight, and celebrate the “party” with enigmatic energy. I want to articulate interest with questions to drawn people in and out. As the God-given opportunities arise, a desperate wrestling match ensues.
The hair brush, the toothbrush, frustration ignites it. Old girl always throws the first, bruising punch. And then new girl pulls a fistful of her hair. And so it goes. They go at it both trying to take each other out and be the girl that shows up at the “party.” The old girl has the distinct advantage: energy, experience, and engaging. And she goes at it with all her strength. New girl is exhausted before it starts and she is less than self-assured. The winner appears triumphant. Old girl will curl up in bed and pull the covers over her head!!!
God just will not have old girl throw the match. The Holy Spirit has moved residence, permanently. New girl has the empowerment in her growing weakness. New girl emerges less than who she wants to be but she throws old girl in bed and pulls the covers of her head. The Holy Spirit rolls out a red carpet ahead of new girl and the victory takes hold. Dinner is served, a hand greets, eyes make contact, we get seated in the movie theater for family movie time, girls show up for a gratitude celebration amidst the pain “hard eucharisto/Ann Voskamp” our home, new girl smiles when she wants to cry or break anything within arms reach, blessing basket is shared as a “party favor” because life moments are celebrations.
It’s so much bigger than old girl/new girl battles. These are also known as battles of the flesh/spirit man. Old girl is my old flesh workings and new girl is the Spirit man asserting the righteous identity. (More frequently than you can even imagine!) It’s the red carpet that rolls in front of my life moment and in front of your life with the Holy Spirit Workings. It’s He that goes before you in your opportunity to step forward, outside whatever your comfort zone is (most everything for me) and make a difference in a relationship for Christ. It could be home schooling, or a hard/scary conversation in your marriage, calling that friend that things did not resolve well or encourage/affirm someone with your full presence.
Contrary to the battle scene, when it comes to my children (more than four!), there is no battle of wills. Mommy love charges forth pell mell, splashing into wherever they are, whatever they are doing, any request I can help make happen. Don’t even try to slow this momma down in 400# big boy wheel chair. . .full speed ahead. I’ve been known to move big pieces of furniture that are in my way! There is no exaggeration there!
Pastor Johnny Green Healing Place, spoke about battles and God stories today. He said, “Not every conversation needs to be about Jesus, but every relationship needs to be intentional.” The heart intentionality for new girl is different, it’s fuller, more passionate about love and life in Christ. Oddly, the intentionality of new girl looks different, it’s quiet, understated and appears passive. The intentionality of new girl struggles for a foothold in a new land.
Don’t’ be fooled by the appearance of things, there is nothing passive about my life.
My intentionality is always relational in building heart-ground to stand on in the presence of Christ.