Separated at the Seams. . .

This post is dedicated to my maternal grandmother, Lucy Graham Smith

Romans was her favorite book of the Bible, This verse was special to her.

Two weeks prior, hospitalization for three blood clots (DVTs). . .You might say I was not thrilled to go back. . . Need for nourishment and hydration required a PEG surgical placement. . .I found at any given moment. . .separating at the feeling- frayed seams of my heart-life. It’s just not fun. Pain, discomfort, weakness and vulnerability all play into a messy process of illness and health struggling for the upper hand. (There is another upper hand. Keep reading if you will.)

Don’t you find yourself coming apart at the seams? You have more school work than Eienstein could finish? You feel neglected or betrayed? Does God even hear the growing desperation in your prayers? How long will you have to wait? What will speak Truth to your lost child? When will the heavy cloak of depression lift? At the breaking point with your workload? Will your marriage connections turn the corner any time soon? Your health issue becomes more complicated by the day?  So not what you thought it would “look like.” There is no denying we are gonna pull apart at the seams of our loosely stitched lives. We have this dynamic in common. The circumstances that pull us apart vary with each precious person. {My heart hurts for you 😦 }

8924eff72bd9492498267b7875976302What we don’t see is the needle and thread is posed in His Hand before the cut is made. He anticipates the need for healing. Read that last sentence again. And again. Before the wounding, God sews love in small quilting like-stitches to keep the fabric of our connection to Him. Some seams He bound in my healing even before surgery: Love and prayers of our daughters and family, Couple friend Connie and Herman took a week off their lives to tend us. My husband never left my side. Tender care came through the nursing hands of Diane, Mike, Casie, Dr. Plantiz and Dr. Holland. Back home, my little room sanctuary was being worked into a welcome home sanctuary. Deft hands organized and tucked love in every corner.  I’m still enjoying banners and cleared living space 🙂 I glimpsed into a small window of the potential for suffering and the struggle to heal. I witnessed first hand what comfort in care can consist of for the patient. I learned something redemptive about my own limitations from which all of us can benefit. The best care and comfort came from nurses and doctors that looked at my face before my numbers. My inability to communicate created need for compensation in care. We communicated more profoundly through my eyes and face. Healing stitches came from God’s love with comments like, “Your face is telling me you are not better,” “What can I do to make you more comfortable?” “That smile tells me you are better today.”

I’m encouraging all of us and a daily reminder to myself, to look for the Godly hand that stitches in His connections and healings, so nothing can separate us from His love.

What if we showed pain in our faces instead of a mask? What if we showed well-being in a smile?  What if we hugged with our eyes? Scripture tells us God looks at the heart. “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7)  Our faces speak our hearts if we allow them to reveal our true selves.

Bottom line:  Facial communication should come first!  Words are secondary.  

Use your eyes to speak life!!! Look for those “stitches” of love!!!

6 thoughts on “Separated at the Seams. . .

  1. Thank you, Tracey, for sharing the lessons that you are learning at a level that most of us cannot fathom. “Hug with your eyes.” I love this, and intend to work on doing this as I interact with those around me. Continuing to keep you, Bucky, and your beautiful girls in my prayers.

  2. Your eyes have always spoken the love that is in your heart! You are an encourager! You bless and inspire all who know you! Thank you for allowing God to use you as He wishes! I love you always!

  3. Tracey, your honesty, vulnerability in your blog minister to my heart and soul. Thank you. I join the many praying for you and your precious family.

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