“Need” in Whispers

Enter with me where time and place stand still. Beyond me and my circumstance, His Hand reaches through the veil that hides the reality of His Kingdom, Thy will be done. My family and close friends witnessed the heavenly host fight for me through the song of Plumb.

Close friends, Frank and Gaye gifted us with tickets to the KLOVE Christmas concert. Plumb filled the church with her voice to bless us with Christmas carols and her song, “Need You Now” (I’ve featured on another post). I’m gonna tell you I bawled like a baby. It touches every fiber of my faith. There are no words to express the depth of where my suffering meets her song journey. As she stood side stage, I could see her silhouette out of the corner of my eye. I had closed my eyes to Worship names into the Chris August song. I heard the angelic rustle of satin closing in… And I felt her soft cheek brush my tear-glazed cheek, her beautiful curls tumble over my flat unstyled hair. (lol) My eyes fluttered open to the wonder of Plumb whispering in my ear. (She gifted me with a glory of hope token, you will have to read my book for this revelation). Truth tickled joy alive as she…Prayed something like this,”Lord, I don’t know what this precious sister is going through, but I ask that you put your arms around her. Embrace her circumstance so she knows more of your love. Oh Father, be here for her so this will be her best Christmas ever. Amen.” She kissed my forehead, and we locked moist eyes. I felt time stop and Plumb saw into my story. Not being able to speak or move, I put all I had in gratitude and love in my eye language back to her. My hand so wanted to reach out of my heart to touch her. The moment felt so ethereal. “I love you,” she said with the authority of His Kingdom. I heard the love of Jesus telling me, through her voice, “I will bless the sacrifice of your suffering far and beyond your expectations” (Eph. 3:20).  I squeezed my face to emulate a hug. She touched my head and was gone as quickly as she came.

I had to work hard to get my composure back from such a significant blessing.

How do you thank someone for stopping time in the face of minute and hour hands that threaten to press the life out of me. Time is not the reality that govern our days and nights. Love governs His Kingdom. God’s love comes down at Christmas (Point of Grace), to remind us it is timeless, extending into eternity.

Merry Christmas Plumb, I love you too. Thank you for singing Jesus into my heart.

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The Way You Love Me

“The Way You Love Me” by Anthony Evans, Jr.

This heart breaks slowly
Tell me what are you doing to me
When I prayed do what it takes
*I didn’t know I’d lose everything
*Everything that meant anything to me is gone
How could something so right go so wrong
*It is the hurt that breaks me
*And it’s the pain that pulls me to my knees
*And the tears they’ve changed me
Til what I couldn’t see
*Becomes so clear to me
This is the way
*The way that you love me
My way destroyed me
I couldn’t see I was my worst enemy
So you took away til my soul ached
And I knew that it was no mistake
That everything that meant anything to me was gone
*Now something right has to come from this wrong
*It is the hurt that breaks me
*And it’s the pain that pulls me to my knees
*And the tears they’ve changed me
Til what I couldn’t see
*Becomes so clear to me
This is the way
*The way that you love me
You loved me so much that you let me
*You let me fall knowing that I would loose it all and hear your call
You love me so much that you chase me
*When I ran away you captured me by letting me run to the end of myself
To the end of myself and this is way you love

*LYRICS I RELATE TO.

This song hits so close to “home” it hurts to share it with you.  I know God did NOT give me ALS.   The way He loves me is SO HARD to discern because the love is so tangled with the pain.  What gives me moments of clarity are the simple things I used to take for granted:  “mom”, sunshine on my shoulders, a full laugh, snuggling with my husband even when I am mad at him, holding a pen, and the gift of a hug.  This is the way He loves me:  the magic momentum of the Body of Christ, you continue to gift me with comments even though I can’t respond, every breath I take… Life in the way He loves me is bleeding me into the sacrifice of thanksgiving.  I loveth thee, TWE

“Watch, wait, hope and pray”

All Things New Lyrics

Artist: Nicol Sponberg

*Poignant verse for me.

This old earth is fading and our hearts are aching

So we let go of our possessions, leave behind our successes
To take hold of one obsession, only Jesus

*So we watch and we wait and we hope and we pray
You will come and make all things new and we won’t be afraid
As we long for the day You will come and make all things new
All things new
(All things new)

*We live here as strangers and brokenness we labor
*We hold on with expectations for the day of our redemption
Grateful still that You were patient with us, Lord

*Oh, oh, so we watch and we wait and we hope and we pray
You will come and make all things new and we won’t be afraid
As we long for the day You will come and make all things new
(All things new)
Come and make all things new

*Our struggle here cannot compare to what we have to gain
*Thank You, Lord
*Our struggles here cannot compare to what we have to gain

So we watch and we wait and we hope and we pray
You will come and make all things new and we won’t be afraid
As we long for the day You will come and make all things new
All things new
(All things new)

So we watch and we wait and we hope and we pray
*You will come and make all things new and we won’t be afraid
As we long for the day You will come and make all things new
All things new
(All things new)

*Come and make all things new
*Come and make all things new
*Come and make all things new

 

Dearest Daughters: If I Could

Hopie, Ashie, Megums and KMay,

If I could open up your hearts, to pour, without loosing a drop, this would be my pitcher.

All of you know the piano connection to the music of the heart. Some of you better than others. 😉

From the deep longings of a woman’s heart, rain and water droplets wet the dry places of want. I remember, so often, watching rain droplets on glass, and everything in me, being at home in that moment. I wanted to soak up each and every one.

Let this speak to the Lord of your wants, Let it go in as deep as it will go now (Murphy Toener) and come back often. . .

  • to hear your heart longings spoken
  • to have your wants filled
  • to have your fears healed
  • to be delivered into more of yourself
  • to have your precious wants washed on with His love and mine

When you watch/listen, look for the little girl playing the violin in the rain.

If I could, I’d write a Momma’s love song, to grow into, just for you.

If I could, I’d play it on my violin, flawlessly just for you.

If I could, I’d make the melody linger in your heart, for love’s sake, just for you.

If I could, I’d make the rain wash each note with God’s goodness just for you.

If I could, it would be a wet witness of His Love and mine just for you.

My little girl, never knew to expect you, but you are all she could ever have dreamed and then some. 🙂   (Pinterest Inspired)

Beyond Words

Words cannot. . .

Embrace love

Hug

Comfort

Heal a broken heart

Touch

Break the silence

Carry a melody of hope

Exist once spoken

Hold Truth

God can. . .

Where words fail, God bridges the great divide

His Nature

His Music

His Life

This was my bridge today:

“Where words fail,

music speaks.”

― Hans Christian Andersen

For All Who Wait. . .

Click on the link below to enjoy:

Light of the World – Lauren Daigle from centricitymusic on GodTube

Chosen Lyrics From the above Godtube

Light of the World

“The world waits for a miracle

The hearts longs for a little bit of hope

Oh Come Emmanuel. . .

A baby’s cry is the sound of a love come down. . .

For who all who wait

For all who hunger

For all prayed. . .

Behold Messiah. . .

Glory to The Light of the world”

The Beauty and The Bane of Grief: Part I

The Deer’s Cry by Lisa

Image Found: inpiration.org

Image Found:
inpiration.org

Do we really need to talk about this at Christmas? Well yes, it’s the “white elephant” gift in the room. Holidays bring our longings, our losses and our love to the surface as we navigate that mystery of what we know could be without the fall of sin and the shadow it casts upon the earth.

The Truth is Christmas lends itself to tears. Tears of joy at our Baby Jesus’ birth, tears of loss, tears of hope, tears of need, tears of beauty, tears of missings, tears of healings, tears of reunions, tears of break-ups, tears of profoundly precious, tears of frustration, tears of priceless memories, tears of dreams, tears of devastation, tears of promise, tears of anger, tears of hallelujah, tears of grief. . . 

My husband, my girls, my sister, brother and a few friends have all held my grief. What a precious privilege it is to be held while the loosely stitched woundings of our hearts split open again and again and again. The binding pressure of love on a wound is painful. I was told once in a group of women I met with, all much further in their faith than I:   Jesus places His Hand into our profuse bleeds of life. . .The intense pain of His pressure is sharp at first. . .But the pressure of His love. . . slowly stops the bleeding. . .And the life of His compassion binds up our woundings to provide for healing and restoration.

Psalm 116:5

Today I share an email I got from a friend Kay. Thank you Kay. XO I found it so clear and practical in it’s scape that I am convicted to share it here:

15 Things I wish I knew about grief

http://identityrenewed.com/author/identityrenewed/

1. You will feel like the world has ended. I promise, it hasn’t. Life will go on, slowly. A new normal will come, slowly.

2. No matter how bad a day feels, it is only a day.  When you go to sleep crying, you will wake up to a new day.

3. Grief comes in waves. You might be okay one hour, not okay the next. Okay one day, not okay the next day. Okay one month, not okay the next. Learn to go with the flow of what your heart and mind are feeling.

4. It’s okay to cry. Do it often. But it’s okay to laugh, too. Don’t feel guilty for feeling positive emotions even when dealing with loss.

5. Take care of yourself, even if you don’t feel like it. Eat healthily. Work out. Do the things you love. Remember that you are still living.

6. Don’t shut people out. Don’t cut yourself off from relationships. You will hurt yourself and others.

7. No one will respond perfectly to your grief. People–even people you love–will let you down. Friends you thought would be there won’t be there, and people you hardly know will reach out. Be prepared to give others grace. Be prepared to work through hurt and forgiveness at others’ reactions.

8. God will be there for you perfectly. He will never, ever let you down. He will let you scream, cry, and question. Throw all your emotions at Him. He is near to the brokenhearted.

9. Take time to truly remember the person you lost. Write about him or her, go back to all your memories with them, truly soak in all the good times you had with that person. It will help.

10. Facing the grief is better than running. Don’t hide from the pain. If you do, it will fester and grow and consume you.

11. You will ask “Why?” more times than you thought possible, but you may never get an answer. What helps is asking, “How? How can I live life more fully to honor my loved one? How can I love better, how can I embrace others, how can I change and grow because of this?”

 12. You will try to escape grief by getting busy, busy, busy. You will think that if you don’t think about it, it’ll just go away. This isn’t really true. Take time to process and heal.

13. Liquor, sex, drugs, hobbies, work, relationships, etc., will not take the pain away. If you are using anything to try and numb the pain, it will make things worse in the long run. Seek help if you’re dealing with the sorrow in unhealthy ways.

14. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to need people. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.

15. Grief can be beautiful and deep and profound. Don’t be afraid of it. Walk alongside it. You may be surprised at what grief can teach you.

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Blessings to you in the beautiful bane of love this Christmas.