What I Did For Love: My favorite song from Chorus Line (NYC)
This Post Is Dedicated to My Husband, Bucky, and His Sacrificial Love
For most of us our first exposure to deep, cutting sacrifice is when we have children. But there are many other opportunities to wrestle us out of our self-focused posture: military service, servants of our communities: policeman, fire fighters, EMS, etc. Also care of the the ill, elderly, etc. A call to follow through on your love of His dream for you where the “learning curve” is so steep, one more step up and the air is too thin to breathe: Out of breath: you!
God gave me a visual image of sacrifice as it slices through love with a red hot blade into our “cool/warm” love: it splits open love and we fall into messy Glory of transformation. No one chooses heart surgery, but it brings life, right?
Sacrifice opens us for heart/love surgery at the blade of God’s hand. We either “die” on the operating table with fleshly responses that lead to bitter/hardened resentment:
“I deserve to have a life of my own.”
“I don’t have what it takes to care for this special needs child.”
“This is WAY beyond my call to duty.”
Who is writing this story?”
“I did not sign up for this!”
“Is this some kind of cruel joke?”
“My life must hate me, could just one more “bad” thing happen?”
“One more sleepless night with these kids and I’ll loose my mind!!! Enough already!!!”
“Where do his/her needs stop and mine begin?”
“When am I going to wake up from this nightmare?”
Murphy Toerner calls this kind of authentic honesty “normalizing our humanity.” She also says, “There is no shame where you are because you can’t be where you are not!!!” (Isn’t that great?) There is no judgement of normal human limitations. I CAN RELATE TO MOST EVERY STATEMENT UP THERE ON A DAILY BASIS!
Heart Surgery in your circumstances: It’s calling our “love” through the fire hot blade of surgery. . . A human response is natural/normal. The higher calling is to rise off the table into supernatural sacrificial love. The blazing blade can sear our flesh responses and our “spirit man” can emerge into transformational/sacrificial love.
King James Version of Zechariah 13:9.
And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.
If we allow the red, hot blade of sacrifice to cut into our “fleshly responses” and do it’s Kingdom Work. . .The healing of love with sacrifice will enable “supernatural” responses that give “life to our love.” We can love outside our boundaries. Our love has been through The Refiners Fire and “silver” is transformed into “gold.”
It’s not an easy process, it’s painful to set aside self, over and over again. What the golden refinements bring:
It is victory that outlasts you and me. It’s Kingdom Victories that invest in the Legacy of Love. We honor and give glory with each and every victory over self that bleeds sacrificial love into His Hands. It is not a one time victory. It’s a daily battle to chose sacrificial love to honor those we love and our Lord by entering the fire of refinement. On a good day, when I’m fighting the fire of this disease, it refines the legacy of my love for family and friends and gives God the Glory.
Through this awful disease, the redemptive giftings of God are: It is refining my wife/mother’s love, it’s refining my marriage, it’s refining my family, our friendships, our relationship with our Lord. It gets pretty hot, in this little heart of mine, in our relationships, but God will not allow the fire to consume us!!!
My husband has moved forward, not as a perfected pon yet (He is an excellent chess player, but ladies he is quite human ;)), but he makes daily moves into deep, sacrificial love, that leaves victory on the game board of Kingdom Life for me and our four daughters. His choices reach into the hearts of our “one day” grandchildren. Bucky’s sacrifices for me and my family will long outlast both of us.
Thank you, husband, for choosing to enter the fire daily in our fight for life that will out last us.
I love you!!!